Exams da Siyaapa

Yeah! We know. We need to elaborate the title first to get all of you aligned to what this blog post is all about because no sensible dictionary defines it for you. At the most if you search our dear "Google Baba" (that's how we call google search engine), it will tell you about a movie called "Total Siyaapa". Maanoge toh hai nahi... go and verify first. Yeh aajkal ki generation bhi naa....

Here is what it means:
"Siyaapa" is a punjabi word which means BIG TROUBLE. Ab baji dimaag ki ghanti?
Right! Today, we are going to talk about this big trouble of examinations, a process that never seems to cease, an ache that is severe than may be the break up one. Come February of every year and the fear, worries, stress and distress, all starts together. As if our own worries as student are not good enough, parents, teachers, our so called well wishers,everyone on this earth is ready with handy tips (read them as threats, consequences of failing, withdrawal of all luxuries like mobile, tv, parties etc) to ensure that we clear through this trouble. They are actually not wrong because afterall it would be a bonus and award for them if you pass with flying colours. Anyway, let's come to your plight. I agree that whatever we are about to write is nothing but common sense which you have been bestowed upon by many of elders, years after years. But this time, if we may request, please read it once and try. Why am I saying this?
Because as a holistic human being with abundance of common sense, we still litter our neighbourhood and roads, we still show road rage as and when given a chance, we still believe nothing will change if I do it 'cause others are not contributing. So keep this so called common sense aside and do try the following to win over exam anxiety this time.
The test anxiety could be psychological or physical.
The psychological signs include mental black out, difficulty in concentration, racing thoughts or sometime negative thoughts, knowing the answers before the exam but forgetting them during it etc.
The physical symptoms include nausea, cramps, sweating, increased breathing rate, tense muscles etc.
If you can identify with any of these signs, do read the full post. Since, exams evaluate your performance. You can enhance your performance with the following methods:
1. What's your style?- Firstly, identify your learning style. Each one of us have a specific style like some can learn using diagrams and pictures, few can learn by listening and others can learn by reading out loud. Whichever way you are comfortable, follow it.
2. Strategise your studies- As you are left with a month or little more to prepare, it is better to learn less but thoroughly. Check the weightage of each chapter subjectwise and strategise accordingly.
3. Knitting the notes- Note making is an art and science too. If you are adept at it, its time to weave them to make sense for you during final revision.
4. Pick the peak- As per our energy level there is a time during the day when we learn the best. It does not matter what time of the day or night it is. Always study at this time and you will observe that learning gets better.
5. Health is important- A healthy diet and light exercise is what you must follow religiously everyday. Reduce intake of artificial sugar and have natural ones like fruits. Make breakfast your new buddy to study well and eat at regular intervals rather than three big meals.
6. Be positive- Forget about your past performance and think about how you can achieve better.
Remember! The day you decide is the day you win in life......

It's Your road...

People talk about ambitions, passions, future plans and careers all the time knowingly or unknowingly. What actually a career is?  Is it a systematically planned process or a destination achieved by hit and trial?  Or a mission that is achieved by the numerous advices and consultations with the parents, relatives, uncles and aunts who are well placed and can boast about all their struggle and hardships?

Is there any truth in the statement that "occupation" is a legacy that can be or rather should be passed on from generation to generation? Why engineer's family has to produce more engineers and same with the doctors too? 

Are we trying to produce socially conditioned people? Well! Its been many years for me and I am still exploring. I have met parents who are flexible enough to give wings to their child’s dream or an IITian parent who inspite of knowing the learning disabilities of his child pushes him to take science and be an engineer or a little more smart parent who carefully trained their child to be disciplined enough (so that he never disobeys them) and chart his each and every activity on the Microsoft excel sheet (Yes! That was the sole reason for them to learn how to create a time table for him and track any swaying). Oh My God! Yes, that was the expression by me too when I listened to their so well planned “career planning”.

From a not so educated parent to extremely well educated one, I agree that each of them are the well wishers and would never like to be a hindrance to their child’s growth but give them an opportunity to atleast figure themselves out. What is their dream and passion? Are they realistic about it? Is it a passion that can be turned into a profession?

For all the teenagers:

Give a thought to the following:

Is it your passion or a dream you nurtured right from your childhood? There have been examples where people have risen above all odds. They may have never been to school, never taken any degree but excelled because of their sheer passion for that "one thing". But passion alone is not that factor which will lead to success in life. With passion you also need hard work and perfection to reach to your goal. Are you ready for it?

Choosing a stream is just the first step to pursue your dream. Except India, every country gives you this flexibility to get what you want with your abilities, interest, skills and finances.

Liberal arts is the way to go. In future, each one of us would require to understand the social thread to succeed. It will not be Social Science, Commerce or Sciences but “Human Sciences” which will be learnt. So, gear up! 

I almost died...

Before you start reading this specific post, please understand that I have no intentions of giving the ideas to anyone. This is an attempt to make you think once before taking any such step. Talk to someone... whatever the problem be.

Once in a lifetime, each one of us (I can bet on it) must have thought of dying. Dying not because the accountant Mr. Chitragupta saw that my balance of breath is zero in his account and he tells Mr. Yamaraj to bring me right up there (heaven or hell , how do I know?  I have never taken a look at my karma) and dont distract me, I am talking something important here. So yes! Dying because, I am fed up of my life..

And I decided to commit the punishable sin.... Yes! SUICIDE.

Why? Are you thinking so..?

I have my own reasons. May be , my gf/ bf issue ( trust me its very serious. I give a damn what my parents did for me all these years. Dil toota hai yaar!). 

May be coz I failed badly in my semester. Arre! Aise kya dekh rahe ho...lakh of students die every year in India. To hell with Thomas Alva Edison, who failed 10000 times and yet tried. On a second thought, agar usne bulb nahi banaya hota toh aaj shayad mujhe padhna hee nahi padhta... I would have had a great excuse. No light Maa!  But anyway, I have a valid reason to kill myself.

Take one!

But the question now is how to do that? Ting tong!! The bell rang and you have to wait......

My maid has come. Beta! Rajjo ko phenyl de dena. ( my mom shouting from her room). And idea popped in my mind. Yes you are right. To have a long sip of phenyl and die forever. Naaa! It smells just yukky..forget about having it. Moreover if it is not pure, I simply end up with infected stomach in hospital. So idea dropped. I have to think of a new convenient way.

Take two!

May be, fan can help me...I have seen in movies and serials...90% of suicides are done this way. Shall I try??

And I end up in my messy almirah of clothes and felt so pathetic. Not a single dupatta to hang with. Why? Dont try to figure out my gender. Irrespective of the fact whether I am a girl or a boy, my preference as a girl would have never have been a suit that too with dupatta. Next time I am going to shop , I will buy few colourful ones.  I can use them as stylish scarves may be. Oh my god! What am I doing? Thinking of shopping, that too when I have the world most serious reason to suicide. ..

Take 3

Sleeping pills...

Phenyl can weaken my body, hanging can be painful so the third most viable option is to have sleeping pills. I have to get them from the chemist. He will ask hundred questions..why do you need? Where is the prescription? You should not take these at this age. Blah blah! I never understood the other people's concern for my life. May be they have no work. 

Now what.. Whats my way out? I never thought killing oneself is such an uphill task. Oh god! Show me the way...

Ting tong!! And here goes the bell again. My dad..who works day and night for us. I got him water and he smiled with a thank you. Aaja beta! Tere liye golgappe aur chaat laya hoon. 

Mummy ko bhi bula le.

I took the packet and went to kitchen wondering if my parents even have an inkling about what my plans are?

Did I tried sharing my problem with them once? Did I even thought what will happen to them seeing my dead tissues lying on the floor? One thing I was sure of.. whatever I may be, ( nalayak, nikammi/a, awaara....lazy and many more adjectives )  they will never like to lose me this way.  

Beta! Kya kar rahe ho... Jaldi se le aayo.

And my thought process is broken by this melodious voice of Mom. 

To hell with suicide....

I will rather have thousands of golgappas with my parents and look for a way out to my problems. 

And here I am, in this first hand..sorry second hand account sharing with you my inner thoughts.  Do buy some moments before taking any strong step like this..My bulb lighted over golgappas... 

Yes! I did speak to the counselor the very next day and today I am working happily and enjoying my life. Life has its own struggle but I have people to lean on coz I made a wise decision of talking to someone.

Imitate to feel Joy!

 While imitation can be called the best form of flattery, for the newborns and toddlers it is their first way to learn and use their five senses to the fullest. Visualize those hundreds of videos flashing on social networking sites. The moment you see them, you forget all your worries and stress and a big warm smile adorns our face. A great relaxation technique in disguise. But as we grow, our smiles fade away with numerous reason and excuses for that. This specific post is to emphasize the need of being you. Look at the picture here!

Our Brand Ambassadors!

Is there a kid alive in you today also? Ask this question to yourself everyday because you must keep him alive in you to feel the joy and love around you. For a moment, forget your age, position, status and just be yourself. That little kid who wanted to fly and run and touch the sun. That little kid who rolled in mud and looked at mother with the naughty nose-cringing expression; who climbs the bed like a rockstar and imitates songs or dialogues of movies; who drools over childhood crushes shouting "He's mine!" and all shenanigans we did in our kid times. It's time to relive those days...

So, get up and start imitating a child to feel that missing joy in your life.

Dealing with feelings.

Every sentence tells a story ... “I am feeling sad today. I am anxious because of my boss. I fear some loss today… and many more”. We have heard this at all times from our near and far ones. Sometimes, we respond and other times we ignore. The day I chose to respond, I got a story and this time not a fake one but the real one. An experience which the client was willing to share at his own will. The reason could be any. Either he/she was tired of carrying the burden and wanted to shed it off to live happily or out of remorse. Whatever the reason may be… It helped in most of the cases. Few words of caution here! Some people will not change and if you advise (which I never do), it would be a waste of words and time both. As a counsellor, mentor, teacher, we all go through the experience of emotions and feelings as we empathise, we listen and we respond. But we too need a way out and mainly for two reasons: Firstly, to avoid our own emotional burnout (after all I am a human being too) and secondly to make sense of all the conundrums happening in the surroundings to have a better understanding of the social structure that exists today. On second thoughts, the most important reason of starting this blog is not to brag about how much I work and help people, but to ensure that if you read it and find something similar happening around you, act and react to it to help yourself or others.

Dealing with feelings is very important for each one of us and the day we are capable of identifying it correctly, you have reduced half my job… L.

Writing for me works as a therapy, a kinaesthetic way of catharsis. Yes! That’s how I have named it. And I will go short this time not because  I am at loss of words but my intention is to bring you back here again to read more….